Don't mention the war...

Travelling around New Zealand I have met loads of Brits. Many are here to escape the high cost, high pace rat race in the UK. If they haven’t already emigrated, they are either backpacking or touring in the trademark lifestyle camper vans which are home from home on the road tour and only marginally less annoying than caravans. There is no sign of the Costa del Crass package tourists, no beer bellies, tattoos or string vests.

Interestingly, there seems to be tons of Germans. Tall, impeccably dressed and demonstrating their excellent command of the English language. And they've all had a lie-in. There are few enough people here to mean that there is no need for them to get up early and reserve the best spot on the beach with a large towel. And no one mentions the war.

I was at a hostel recently where I met some interesting characters. The lads in my dorm room were 2 British cyclists on a 12 day ride covering 80-110 kms a day and a lad from Holland who was a marine architect who works for two years solid and then takes six months holiday. Then there was Henrich from Sweden on the F650GS hire bike going the other way. Conversation was very entertaining, liberating even because we were all in the same boat, all equally foreign and on neutral ground.

We got to talking about Europe and I asked the Dutch guy how they view the Brits. Favourable vibes ensued but he quickly turned his focus to the Germans and how the Dutch really hate the Germans. I tried to steer the conversation away from broad-brush schism with what I hoped was a benign story about my dad and his cottage in France, and the veteran farmer with whom his only commonality is their dislike for the Germans. Their discussions about the Franco-German neighbour who hangs her bras on dad’s fence wire see his pidgin French sign language abilities extend to making pistols with his fists, screwing up his face to take aim and scowling ‘Doit-shh’ likes a pirate. You can see the link but it failed to divert the conversation. Oops

The quiet guy behind us seemed to shrink a little further into his chair. His wife appeared saying something like “Duu bist ein kluggshieser ” or “Halt, dies ist Hammer Timen”.
Arrgghh, Deutsche!. Don’t mention the war. I did – twice – but I think I got away with it.

Keeping our heads down continuing with a jigsaw puzzle that was patently lacking all the pieces, we changed the subject to motorbikes and the Germanic sounding Henrich joined in. Luckily he was Swedish and we hadn’t gotten round to moaning about IKEA flat pack wardrobes or complaining about Volvo drivers. Phew.

Henrich the Swede

He was enjoying his motorbike tour, and the usual repertoire of bike geek drivel ensued. The topic of speeding proved rather illuminating about our different European experiences of being European.

I unwittingly confirmed that the British do indeed think they are superior abroad by observing that NZ can’t issue me demerit points because my British license is untouchable.

Henrich showed the Swedes are ubiquitously fair. Speeding fines in Stockholm are means tested. Mr Nokia got zapped when visiting from Finland and was fined a million euros for 12km over the limit.

And the Dutch do indeed give nothing away. Thoren described with a certain amount of self effacing amusement that they can be fined for just 1km over the limit. In fact there are fines for everything. You can be fined for going too fast, for going too slow, for going through a red light, for going through a red light too fast, for accelerating too much to catch a green light. All this, but you can’t be done for smoking drugs. There’s even cafes for the purpose.

There is a lot to be said for travelling to see culture. You encounter culture whenever you meet anyone overseas, even if they are from just over the channel but 12000 miles from home.

These Dutch and Swedish examples of culture are interesting because they are reassuringly ‘over-there’. Whilst there are a few aspects of NZ culture which can remain reassuringly over here, there are many cultural aspects we could do with importing to UK.

New Zealand is often likened to the England of the 1950s. Another way of saying there are three times as many sheep than people, the population is manageable, the pace of life is slower and people rarely lock their doors (in the smaller towns at least).

As I prepare to leave here for the next adventure, I am already bracing myself for the culture shock when I get back to Bristol. Too many people, too much traffic, too much pollution and everything’s expensive.

If this report from the BBC is anything to go by, (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4610755.stm) I might well be back here before big brother breaks Britain.

"The government's proposal to introduce road pricing according to distance travelled will mean you having to purchase a tracking device for your car and paying a monthly bill to use it. The tracking device will cost about £200 and in a recent study by the BBC, the lowest monthly bill was £28 for a rural florist and £194 for a delivery driver. A non working mother who used the car to take the kids to school paid £86 in one month. On top of this massive increase in tax, you will be tracked. Somebody will know where you are at all times. They will also know how fast you have been going, so even if you accidentally creep over a speed limit in time you can probably expect a Notice of Intended Prosecution with your monthly bill."


[to sign the petition against GPS road user charges visit http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/traveltax/
If you feel strongly enough, pass on the link.]