...and a partridge in a pear tree. [24th -26th Dec 06]

As I have said already, it doesn’t seem like Christmas because it is summer. People who have been here 30 years say it is still weird having yule tide in the sun. Peace on earth and goodwill to all men. Try: shift some earth, pavers and a rubber mallets to all men. Christmas Eve gave me blisters and sandy knees

But as elsewhere stated, arbeit macht frei, and it was very satisfying to see about a third of the patio done in time for Christmas day.

Santa did his rounds and brought us the world’s cutest kitten, which has no fear and gets on well with the 3 alsatian guard dogs already in residence.














Jesus’ birthday saw more hard labour in the standard issue uniform of blue overalls and questionable cowboy hat,


















in order to clean the decking. All done by 1pm as the guests began to arrive. “Table for 15 for lunch, non smoking please.” Well, there were just enough chairs and enough space on the patio to mean everyone could sit and enjoy the sun which, despite being hidden by cloud, can still burn in 20 minutes, such is the lack of ozone in this part of the world (worse than Aussie apparently).

$2 presents all round meant that everyone got to open numerous trinkets, visitors from Pomland included. My presents ranged from edibles (which for me counted as zero calories as they were later to be consumed by Turbo the very fat but still hungry Labrador), to partly edibles (a LARGE bag of penguin shaped chews) to a clockwork plastic horse ridden by tomahawk toting Red Indian. The temperance pamphlet “Liquor Has No Halo” was perhaps the most mis-judged present or at least a joke I didn't get. Maybe it was meant for someone else, judging by the amount of booze which was in fact consumed, mainly by the girl from Oamaru, who mocked me for my relative abstinence.

I got to chop some wood for the fire, Kiwi style















And did my bit for the meal by overseeing the bbq



















Late night phone calls to the UK were greeted with recorded messages explaining the lines were overloaded so I made do with sending a few Christmas emails and went to sleep.

Boxing day was spent 75kms away in the countryside, where the men of the village set about straightening an old shearing shed


and after another barbeque, a race round the paddock on some old motorbikes, it was time for a fire on the beach to toast marshmallows. Copious amounts of beach wood was gathered in just moments and we created a bonfire to rival the towering inferno. I was very generously given an unusually shaped stick as a souvenir. It is gnarled at the end and looks like the elephant man. My very own Gandalf staff.

Then off to bed ready for an early start for Queenstown and some awesome off road riding through the Otago wilderness.